When writing, I sometimes use clichés because I’m lazy. I opt to be un-creative. Yet I want to be a better writer, one who doesn’t use clichés. Pondering this dilemma, I realized the only way for me to truly get better was to quit being bad — to quit giving myself a free pass to
To Be Better, Stop Being Bad
Why You are the Most Important Person in the World
Before takeoff, airline flight attendants direct passengers to put on their own oxygen mask before helping anyone else in the case of an emergency. My motherly instincts tell me to put children before myself; I would rather suffocate than have a child next to me run out of air. Logic tells me, though, that if
Why I Wait in the Wings
Every day since Dominic was born, I find myself waiting. I wait for a phone call from Marie. I wait for her to post new pictures to our shared Google Drive folder. I wait for the tears and pain to pass. I wait for the clock to tick away the minutes until my next visit.
How Speaking Shame Defeats its Power
Keeping a diary is a favorite pastime of mine. As a pre-teen, I wrote my most secret of secrets in a journal with a lock. I kept the key hidden in my jewelry box; but that didn’t matter once my brother figured out how to pick the lock. One reason I feel motivated to keep
Why I ‘Gave,’ Not ‘Placed,’ My Child
Use of language is highly specific to context. In the realm of adoption, professionals and birthmothers alike seem to have a particular preference when referring to the act of adoption, describing it as a “placement.” Being new to the adoption world, I have struggled to use “correct” terminology out of ignorance, not insensitivity. I am
The Adoption Inquisition
“Didn’t you have a baby?” I was at the gym. A girl who knows both me and my baby’s father spotted me and said hello. Then she immediately pounced on the subject of my pregnancy. “Well, yes.” I hesitated before mumbling, “I decided to give him for adoption.” “Oh, Emily! I’m so sorry! If you
Unplanned Pleasantries
As a little girl, I had big dreams. I wanted to be a college graduate, a wife, a mother. I’ve achieved these dreams, but not in the way my little girl imagination had laid it out. In the perfect world inside my head, I thought I would go to college, find a husband, start a
An Alternative to the ‘Fight or Flight’ Response
Picture yourself walking through the woods. The tree leaves dance in the sunshine, the moss is a thick carpet under your feet, the air feels fresh and clean. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice something move. Then it stands up. Whirling around, you spot a giant black bear, less than a hundred